The Scorcerer's Apprentice with Finn and Jake!
by isCritical
Summary: When Dave is bewielded with the magic ring his life changes. He is sent to the Land of Ooo to do his training and become an apprentice. He is not only master of physics, but magic too.
1. Falling asleep, or am I?

**Thanks to my wonderful friend for inspiring me to write on fanfiction, xcarryondancingx!**

**I am new to this so please review on my chapters. **

**I know this chapter is short but I will promise to make others longer.**

**Thanks for reading. (:**

Dave, such a silly old name. I've never had _real _friends. Had tonnes of girls. I'm a total chick magnet. My story from my past ten years has been odd.. from what I can remember..

When I was ten, I went on a class field trip. I don't remember much but you'll find out soon..

I wrote a note to Becky, she was the prettiest girl in the class. Now, here's a lesson guys, when a girl is pretty, she's normally dumb, but not necessarily. Becky was pretty and pretty smart. Anyway, I asked if she liked me. Tick yes, tick no. I did that to all of the girls, I was sort of a man whore, if you hadn't figured it out. My first time dating was when I was one. Hah! She was blonde too.. until she went bald and grew her hair back brunette. We were over. Anyway, back to the story.

Once our class had left to go somewhere when the damn note flew out of Becky's very wrinkly jagged hands (I guess they don't have a dishwasher?) and blew to some old shop which held antiques. The shop looked horrorful. Very small but tall. There was smoke coming out of it.. I had no clue why..

As the class was storming off with some hag of a teacher named Miss Flubbagum (they call her that because she has a big ass), I ran inside and looked for the note. I was looking everywhere when suddenly a shadow appereared above me. At first I thought it was batman but instead it was some old looking man whom looked like he was going through the dread lock phase brought out a ring.

Trust me, I did not want a glimpse of that ring from what he had going in the back of his shop. It was so temptimg. So we smoked a little bit then got back to it.

"Go on, put it on". He stated.

"W-why"? I shivered. It was a very strange looking ring. "WAIT! This is Finn and Jake off of Adventure time? What the fuck is this!"

"PUT. IT. ON." The freaky freak said. Heheh, freaky freak in my mind is what I call him.

I wet my pants with fear and put it on. Finn and Jake started dancing around my fingers until a mysterious light came about and knocked me out. Freaky freak (heheh) thought it was funny to wake me up with warm water.. I guess he knew my bladder was full. I woke up with piss running down my legs. Lucky Jake was there, he pretty much was thirsty, desperate thirsty.

"This ring! This ring! THIS RING!" Freaky freak squealed. ..Is he having an.. orgasm?

"What about THIS RING!.."

"I have been waiting a century for the next apprentice to come along. You, you are the apprentice!" He claimed. "My name is Balthazar. I have been trying to find the apprentice until now. You must fill in this task! Finn and Jake must train you. GO NOW!" He sounded very demanding.. OH CRAP, ANOTHER LIGHT... Jake will clean it up.

*****blink, blink*. Hey, I didn't wake up with piss... I thought to myself.

"No put you woke up with shit, and _I like shit!_" Finn replied happily. "By the way, I'M DISGUSTING!

"OH MY GOD! I'm in the Land of Ooo! HELL YEAH!" I scurried up and ask them to tell me why I am here..

"Mhm, and we'll tell you all about it after I eat my shit.."

It seemed weird at first but I am actually in the Land of Ooo!

"Hey! You mind getting out of my pants?... Please?.. and why the hell are there Jigglers everywhere? And where's Princess bubblegum and 'yo hot ass girlfriend Lady Rainicorn!" I asked puzzled.

Jake cleared his breath. "I believe it's the Rowdy Queen..." Believe it or not I heard him side whisper.. This dog is dumb.. and he doesn't know what swear words are.. or rudes names?.. He thinks santa ribbon is a mean name? I have to teach this dog.

"..Does it look like I care?"

"Yes.. or I will roar."

"Wow that roar was weak.. Wanna hear mine.. I'll teach you it with my stupid ability to stand in a cage and make lightning around me. " I stated sarcastically.

"Physics?.. Look do you want a room here or what."

"..yes." I scowled in defeat. This dog might not be as stupid after all..

**(: Hope you liked it! **

**Please reveiw to this chapter, and other chapters I post.**

**:D I'll try and bring out the next chapter soon!**


	2. Nongays and hunting

**Heheh! Another chapter is here guys!  
****For the readers still reading this story, a big thanks! :D  
Okay, no reveiws put I only started the story two days ago..  
and already two chaps! :D Enjoy!**

"Hey! Here's your room!" Finn boasted. Argh.. Is Finn ever NOT excited?.. I mean, it's like when I wrote that note to Becky, I wasn't so excited..

_Yeah.. you were. _

What the..?

_You had to wear a nappy that day because of your excitement.. remember mum telling you to because when you were younger you'd get so excited over chocolate frosting you'd shit yourself. _

..Can I ask a question?

…

Who is this?

_Your concious.. you really need to stop li- _

SHUT UP!

"Um.. No offence, but is the Mardi Gras Parade going on in here?.. It's damn rainbow.. Do I look like a fairy or a pixie?" I'm not gay. I have no clue who chose this room, or painted it, but there head is getting pounded.

"Oh.. u-uhh.. Thi-this is my room.." HAH! This is going to be good, not even that, GREAT!

"Finn..?"

"WHAT?"

"Might you perhaps-"

"BE GAY? GOT A PROBLEM? I MEAN, IT'S NOT A LAW NOT TO BE. AND YES, THE MARDI GRAS PARADE HAD JUST BEEN BY.

Fuck! Shut down.. I hate shut downs.. Not when there sent out from me.. But when there towards me..

"Is there a stick up your ass? Or perhaps a penis?.. heh." I mumbled in laughter as Finn cracked the shits, slammed the door and stranded me in my room.. I had a look around. All there was was a bed, wardrobe and a door. The doorknob on that door had a key hole. ..How do I get the key?

I paced my room for around ten minutes until I figured that I would watch Finn and Jakes every move tomorrow. I needed that key.. I imagined all kinds of things that could've been behind that door.

A magical unknown unicorn and your could rip it's horn off after battles and take baths with it to heal your wounds.

A secret room which only held thin air, kind of like a black hole.. But you still go missing.. So yeah, it is a black hole.

Loads of things could be in that room and all I need is a damn key. This crap sucks. I go through struggles everyday and I get it again! Bad enough that today I was already sent here to do a task that I have no clue of doing? What the hell is a 'Sorcerer' any who? I have no clue why I am here..

-bang!-

What the f-

-bang!-

..Suppose I better check it out.

I walk out my room, still glaring at that same door.. All I could do while finding my way to that freakin annoying noise was think about the door..

I walked down the hall which was surprising because they did have a lot of photos of ..peoples, how do I put this.. parts?.. And yet, it was still colourful.

I walked past a door and completely got side tract of the banging noise. I walked into a room, it might have been the one next to the banging noise and straight in front of me, Finn and a Jiggler, together, forever, I gave you my heart and I will love you...

ARGH.. Stupid author. Why did you make me sing that..

FIRETRUCK THAT WAS AWFUL.. D:

I ran to my room, immediately thinking of tomorrow, trying not to think of.. oh dear lord! I can't say it..

I took a nice deep breath and fell asleep.

Tomorrow is.. Tomorrow is the day I shall hunt.. or stalk?.. whatever Finn and Jake do all day.. And I think I know what Finn will be doing..

When I got up a Jiggler was sitting infront of me. His eyes pretty much said what he was doing in my room.

"Catch us again and you don't get a coffee every morning." He seemed loud and clear but there was one thing..

"I wouldn't like gay coffee.. I mean, I don't hate gays and all but.. it's just weird. A guy, in a colourful room, with a gay, on a bed who dresses like a house maid and brings around coffee? Sorry, but I'll buy my own." I NEVER want to see that sight again...

I guess I knew it was hunting time.. So I bought some binoculars at the store and headed off. By the way, shagwell, yes it is gay.

First up was the Jiggler..  
All he did was read porno.. about, girls? I might be mistaken but this Jiggler might have been desperate for a good time, so he took Finn. "What the fuck!" I shouted. "Shit!" I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth hoping no one heard.

"Dipshit, wrong Jiggler." The 'gay' Jiggler slapped me over the head with his newspaper, which surprisingly hurt, and stormed off.

Oops.. I was mistaken.

Next was Finn..  
Okay, I might be stalking people right now but what he is doing is most definately stalking. I took a quick gander in my binoculars to see what he was looking at.. Princess Bubblegum? Is anyone in this building gay?

"Get lost." He shouted.

"How the hell did you hear me.. I didn't say a word!" Some people a weird...

"Piss off, you wouldn't know what weird was.. or what bisexual was."

"Uhm? Bisexual? Well.. it's better than being gay so I will support you! As long as you_ don't_ love me."

"It's your lucky day!"

Finn, was scary. He always looked so happy in his shows.. Hmm..?

Okay.. Jake..  
Jake, obviously, loved games. I mean, he plays them all day. I even watched him on his date with Lady Rainicorn. Everytime she turned her back he'd start playing. What kind of boyfriend is this guy?

Jake, _is _a dog. A sloppy two timing dog. It's either Rowdy Queen or games. But he wants both.  
..Manwhore!

When I was finished stalking all three.. non gays.. I went back to my room, flopped on my bed and did nothing.  
Atleast I know how to get that key, I just need to come up with a plan tomorrow..  
I fell asleep and waited for tomorrow...

**Thank you again for reading, please review!  
Would be much appreciated!  
The next chapter will come in about a week 'cause this one was extremely early.. XD**


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